My Dad

My dad was the man I looked up to and who I always wanted to be
he was more than just a father he was the greatest friend to me
Whenever he sat me on his shoulders I felt it was for the whole world to stop and see
That he was the proudest father, any man on this planet could be
Anywhere my dad would go i wanted to be by his side
Walking in his footprints growing stride by stride
I wanted to be just as brave as him and have no fear inside
Always put my family first and wipe away tears they've cried
My dad got me where I am today and turned me into a man
He taught me how to be father and give my kids the best I can
He taught me to love and protect my family
Passed down his roll into my hands
I promised to do the best I can in his shoes I'll proudly stand
I've never seen a man with so much courage, strength and fight
Battling for months through the pain every Day and every night
Still holding a smile on his face keeping spirits alive and so bright
As we held him up close holding him tight
My dad peacefully fell asleep in all of our arms
Our tears flowed like a river while he laid there so calm
Oblivious to the world no more suffering or harm
Heavens gained another angel full of cheekiness and charm!

A broken woman

I'm gazing into the mirror staring at the reflection of my battered face, my left eye cut and bruised after hitting the fireplace, i'm so disgusted and appalled  my boyfriends nothing but a disgrace, Can't believe him showing me his love is kicking me around this place

How does a man build so much venom up inside him,  that he will punch and kick his woman till she's unconscious and not moving, become so insecure always pointing the finger and accusing, telling me I've done things my honest heart don't believe in

The man I thought I knew used to love me for who I am, Never once did he judge me or ever raise his hand, I used to be called his princess now I'm a cunt that he can't stand, I'm building up the courage to leave this evil bastard of a man

Going out drinking with my friends is only a fantasy to me, I'm told I'm not allowed cos of the male attention that I'll recieve, I'm stuck at home washing floors wiping tears on my jumpers sleeve, trapped in a vicious circle that seems to have got the best of me

I've tried to put on weight so it repulses him to come near, he seems to think he can sleep with me after making me feel nothing but fear, I'm a chain smoking nervous wreck waiting for a angel to appear, to take me away from this tragedy I have suffered for years

I also have to think Do I want to be alone, Do I want to bring up 3 kids in an unhappy broken home?, These are the questions I ask myself and the answer is well known, but my heart somehow still loves him no matter how much the abuse has grown

Leaving this house without a fight is never going be easy,
My family and friends are at wits ends trying to save me, yet I seem to push them away as I know that he'll go crazy, I feel wherever I run away to he's always gonna find me

I only have myself to blame for letting him control me with his mind, but he slowly broke me down until myself I couldn't find, he's made me feel I'm worthless and without him I'd be blind,  I wouldn't be able to see the road to the happiness I long to find!!

Dear santa

Dear santa 

This year I've been a naughty boy and hurt loads of womens feelings,  but it's only cos a future with them I couldn't help but not believe in, she has to be the perfect woman who makes my heart keep beating, one who I'll change my ways for so I know she'll never be leaving

I'm looking for a lady with an elegant touch, one who's kinda classy but as filthy as a slut, I know it's quite alot but I never ask for much just make sure that her pussy is very neatly cut

I don't want no bitch who's labia hangs low, or one whos minge dribbles like the dog Beethoven we all know, her feet have to be pretty it's not about dinosaur toes, full on respect for herself, not a sausage smoking hoe

I want her to be independent and not a  benefit cheat, I don't want no little hood rat who's sat on nearly every mans meat, a girl who keeps her shoes on not leaving a club in her bare feet, one who doesn't piss in the gutter in the middle of the street 

I'd like my lady to have her real hair no extensions or horse hair weave, her fake tan levels to be under control and not ruining my satin sheets, she's not allowed to be on twitter posting boobie wednesday picture tweets, them parts of her body are only allowed to be for only me

I'd like one who prefers to swallow cos she don't like cum inside her, plus it saves her wiping with my socks And becoming a baby breeder, I promise not to hurt her, become jealous or a feeder, I'll show her endless love and prove to her I'm a keeper!

Thank you big man! 

Addiction

I wake up with voices screaming at me, my body's in shock shaking uncontrollably, I'm in a dark place no support from my family, Im chasing pavements on route to find my destiny

My dirty fingernails are scraping my pockets lining, I got no money on me I feel like fucking crying, who am I gonna hurt next with my stealing and my lying, but I gotta get a fix my body feels like it's dying

This addictions took my life I feel like my soul is decomposed, I'm always running from my problems hiding behind a heavy dose, will I ever fully recover thats one thing I'll never know, all I want is to be loved again by the people my heart holds close

I'm off out on my travels I need to see what I can find, I gotta make some money even if it means to rob it from the blind, I'm getting anxious now starting to go crazy in my mind, I need to feed these demons that are taking over me inside

When i take my magic medicine i feel so high I'm paralysed, numb to the destruction That's  swallowed up my pride, oblivious to the world no more feeling I'm deprived, it's just another day of craving and going cold turkey I've survived

A comedown is the darkest place in this grim underworld I see, back to fighting for survival now this sickness has got the best of me, I'm kicking puddles under a bridge need to make myself a dry place to sleep, as the public walk on by looking down on the scum that fills their streets

Behind alot of addictions there's a decent human being, who has sadly turned to drugs to deal with the pain that they was feeling, as society most like to judge as drugs they don't believe in, but then that life as it's a cruel that we live in!!

For my nan which I never read out.

Will you be the blades of grass we feel beneath our feet, or the pink and white silk blossom that grows upon our trees, will you be the early morning sun that likes to shine on me, or the cooling refreshing air we like to call a breeze, 

will you be the melody the birds sing in the spring, or the sunset upon our skies as the evenings draw on in, will you be the raindrops that the fluffy clouds bring, or the colours in the  rainbows one of natures finest things, 

will you be my shadow that follows me on the ground, or the glowing of the moon the twinkling stars surround, will your spirit be around us without making a sound, looking down on us smiling and listening right now, 

i know you will be in all our hearts and remembered for a lifetime, your our nan we are all so proud of and with great pride I can say your mine, to me you will be an angel high up in the sky, leaving white trails in the clouds as you spread your wings to fly!

Sitting here blood rushing my eyes burn into the wall, my hearts torn and deflated yet I tried to stand tall, been on the edge of breaking point since I was taking for a fool, by a woman who i cherished and gave her my all

I hear Her car pull up outside I'm emotionally distraught, veins are lifting out my skin I'm thinking crazy thoughts, this marriage break up won't be done on paper and settled in the courts, it will be my hands around her throat that settles our divorce

She walks in with a smile and gently shuts the door, She's playing her game well which makes me think Im just insecure, but now I have seen with my own eyes she's just a dirty whore, this bitch is gonna feel my pain thats one thing for sure

I grabbed her by the hair, pulling hard she starts screaming, get off me you freak what the fuck are you doing, My hairs coming out at the roots its ripping and hurting, I shout I'm gonna make you pay for all of your cheating

I pull her into the kitchen where the flourescent lights bright, I tie her up to a chair I see the fear in her eyes, I smash up dirty plates piled up high on the side, I throw tea mugs at the wall  shattered porcelain flys

I grit my teeth hard I shout and I scream, 12 years we have been together since the age of sixteen, you built my world into what can only be decribed as a dream, opening my heart to a world of love I couldn't believe,

I've watched you for days meeting a man who You look content with, he puts his hand on your face to kiss you  exactly the same way that I did,  he puts his arm around your waist  to show the whole world that your his, no thoughts for my pain or any care for my tears

I got that choking feeling holding back the tears I tried,
I had to stay strong holding it all in for my pride, but I'm a man whos only human I broke down and I cried, while smelling your scent off your pillow telling myself your no longer my bride

I rip off my shirt to reveal the scars on my arms, the only way to deal with the pain was a knife to self harm, I cut myself deep where the blood was still warm, just sit there and bleed till the adrenalines calm

She's sobbing from the heart and lifts her head  to look at me, she says she became my chore not the wife she was meant to be, she just wanted to be appreciated by the man that made her see, she was worth more than anything in the world and not the shit on our streets

I can't take the truth I smack her face till she bleeds
She Wriggles free from the chair and launches  at me, hits her head of the door frame goes all limp At the knees, lands on the floor with a force, unconscious unable to breathe


yellow liquid leaks from her ears she's in a state of trauma, how did this escalate in to this heartbreaking  devastating drama, I promised her all them years ago that I'd never hurt her, now I have taken away her happy ever after

I switch on the gas on the cooker and swallow 2 packets of pills, I cannot go on living with the guilt and pain that I feel, My soul is destroyed unable to heal, im a monster in her eyes I have to accept that it's real

I make her look comfortable that's the best I can do, hold on to her hand as my breathing stops too,  whisper in her ear that I'm sorry and My love for you was so true , The last beat of my heart I saved it for you !

Matthews request

As I lay in this bed with a pissy patch beneath me, dribbling like a cunt and no one wants to feed me, bed sores seepin with puss and chaffage round my ring piece, I'm waiting on the angels to come and realease me

My mums Concoction of medicines mixed up by my bedside, I'm gonna down it like a jäger while I remember the goodtimes, I'm felling hot and sweaty like a whitey when u get high, can't fight it anymore as my eyes slowly shut tight, 

Feel my heart pumping fast it's like it's popping out my chest, my hands grab on tight to the metal supports around the bed,  my mums shaking hand wipes my mouth and sweat away from my head, she crying uncontrollably screaming out I've killed him hes dead..